Comments
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generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 19:51 | You always wanted one of these when in high school - and now you can have the car that tells everyone yes, these are implants - on your head and in that dizzy tart next to you. Boom. You go, tiger. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 19:51 | Is there nothing the Pfister Comet cannot do? If you were a venture capitalist looking for the shortest route to your next midlife crisis, the Comet was your first and only choice. If you wanted something that preserved the classic reek of desperation but added a street-racer twist, the Retro Custom was top of the list. And now, if you're looking for something to slam around a hairpin bend in three feet of uphill mud, the Comet Safari has got you covered Please note: Weapon modifications can only be applied at a Vehicle Workshop inside an Avenger or Mobile Operations Center. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 19:50 | For a whole generation of the San Andreas elite, this isn't just a car. From the onboard champagne cooler to the suede back seat where you pawed your first gold digger - The Pfister Comet was something that made you who you are. And now, thanks to Benny reinventing it as a gnarly, riveted urban dragster, it'll be broadcasting your escalating midlife crisis for years to come. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 19:49 | It's better looking than you. It can fire machine guns and rocket launchers more accurately than you. It can jump higher than you and it's always got a parachute. Your mother prefers its company to yours. You know what they say: if you can't beat it, own it, and pray people don't notice that all your belongings are cooler than you are. Note, the production model of this vehicle has a reduced missile capacity | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 19:47 | Signature Dundreary grille, opulent wood panelling, roomy luggage compartment, and a roof rack for the family dog - the ultimate vehicle to live the 1960s suburban dream today. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 19:47 | The modern urban thug doesn't need fat tires, massive cylinders and reinforced bodywork to make the streets his kingdom. Welcome to a world where the only ride you need has recycled plastic panels, the wheels off a shopping cart and the same engine as your refrigerator. And trust us, when your crew rolls into town that deafening high-pitched whine will strike fear and lust into the hearts of your enemies. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 19:45 | A certain kind of man drives a scooter. Is that you? | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 19:45 | A certain kind of man looks at a scooter and thinks "it's fine, but it doesn't reflect how unique I am - it needs some interesting mod options". If that's you (it is) then don't fret, your minute-long search has finally come to an end. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 19:44 | Like a cinder block to the jaw or an impending meteor strike, the blank stare of the Hauler Custom speaks the universal language of pitiless strength. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 19:42 | If freedom had six wheels, a diesel engine and reinforced bodywork this is probably what it would look like. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 19:42 | Every trucker's been there: you've held down your air horn for ten minutes straight, and still the solar-powered eco-cart in front of you is sticking to the speed limit. Thanks to the Phantom, their reign of tyranny ends where your 20-foot, easy-wipe steel wedge begins. Let freedom ring. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:43 | Osiris drivers boast the shortest average life expectancy of any consumer demographic of America. They live, briefly, in a world of bygone opulence and hyper-modern engineering. The 0.3 seconds between leaving the showroom and arriving at their first corner are the most exhilarating blur in their short, short lives. Only the stupidly rich need sign up to the waiting list. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:43 | Remember your old flatbed truck? This is nothing like that. The Wastelander could carry your old flatbed truck across the surface of Mars without using even half the travel on its mile-high, man-eating suspension. Stick a few heavily armed friends in the back and it's time for some good, wholesome fun. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:43 | Join the almost hubless revolution and get a hole in your wallet as big as the one in your back wheel. Nothing says weekend warrior like this custom chopper, khakis, and a leather jacket. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:42 | OK, so it's not technically road legal. Or even vaguely safe. And with those forks you better get good at three point turns. But if you can get past all that you can cruise straight into your Goth biker death cult of choice. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:42 | Something deep within the American psyche cries out to do 100mph in a glorified lounge chair, and dammit if LCC aren't going to answer the call when they hear it. Don't get too comfy though, cos the engine sounds like it's gargling rocks and your left ankle is never more than a few inches from an open flybelt. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:41 | Tricking out a near-perfect muscle car like the Sabre is a fine art. A mainstream mod shop won't understand that its deafening wheelspin isn't inefficient - it's the foreplay a car like this requires. Its brakes aren't dangerously unresponsive, they're smooth and gradual. The lack of protection isn't careless, it's thrilling. Luckily for you, here at Benny's we can serve a whole lot of style without adding one tiny bit of substance. It's what a car this stupid deserves. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:41 | Get 'em while they're hot. The classic Stallion muscle car's been imported from Liberty City to Los Santos. You might find some baggies or baggy rubbers tucked into the back seat, but that's part of this lady's charm. She's a dime | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:40 | Did you know that if this country took all the money it spends on schools, civic infrastructure and space exploration, and invested it in military R&D, we could produce some really innovative tank designs? The Khanjali is a loud, fast wakeup call to get our priorities straight. And with the kind of upgrades this thing has available, you better hope we're listening. Please note: This vehicle must be stored in a personal facility and can be modified at the Facility Vehicle Workshop. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:40 | Reputed to be the safest car ever made, this classic Vulcar station wagon has been the vehicle of choice for really terrible drivers for 20 years. The closest thing you'll ever get to a tank for under $10k. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:38 | At some point, anyone who's anyone in Los Santos has looked out over a ten-car garage full of nothing but stock Elegies and wondered what the hell they're doing with their life. Well, thanks to Benny you can wonder no more: now every one of those beauties is a nostalgia-fueled, mod-drenched, early 90s retro custom classic just waiting to happen. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:38 | The legendary Swedish four door sedan. All the boxy design of a 1980s Vulcar, with none of the reliability. For lovers of tight jeans, micro breweries, and 70s cop shows. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:37 | Born in the fires of Mt. Fuji and tested on some German toll road, you can finally legally own this legendary supercar without the fear of having your door kicked in by the FIB because they'd rather crush import cars than catch terrorists | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:36 | The perfect car to go with your flesh tunnel earrings, frosted spikes, and oversize jeans. Buy this and you'll never fail to be mistaken for a small town drug dealer again. This edition helps prevent a mistake turning into a tragedy with armor plating. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:36 | The perfect car to go with your flesh tunnel earrings, frosted spikes, and oversize jeans. Buy this and you'll never fail to be mistaken for a small town drug dealer again. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:35 | High performance compact car for the kind of person who drifts around corners with a baby seat in the back. Recently discontinued, so may be worth waiting a decade or so for it to become ironic cool. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:35 | A favorite in Mirror Park, this sporty little guy is easy to park. Great handling, anti-lock brakes, and a stereo that only plays power pop hits. Ironically. Go team! | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:34 | The Hermes is more legend than automobile. When all those 1960s classic muscle cars were still in diapers, the Hermes was already crawling down Eclipse Boulevard leaving a trail of unfiltered cigarettes and misogyny in its wake. With that kind of canvas you can paint a seriously offensive painting – and trust us, that eye-watering paint job is just the start. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:33 | A compact, lightweight, off-road recreational vehicle, BF likes to pitch the Bifta as the world's original dune buggy (i.e. They forgot to patent the design so the market's now flooded with carbon copies from other manufacturers. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:31 | This is luxury reasserted. Right in your neighbour's face. Boom. You like that. That's right, you are better than him, and you could have his wife if you wanted. Try it on with her as soon as she sees this ride. You'll be a double benefactor | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:31 | This entry-level luxury car is for entry-level type guys - salesmen, marketing dorks, people at tech companies who want to feel like they've made it but they never really will. Show people what kind of man you want to be | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:31 | Poised delicately between BAWSAQ chic and bone-crunching utility, the Benefactor XLS is every car to everyone. Whether you're attending a board meeting halfway up a rugged cliff face or ferrying humane remains out of your place of work, it's reassuring to know the Germans have got your back. Armored version available, obviously. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:30 | Poised delicately between BAWSAQ chic and bone-crunching utility, the Benefactor XLS is every car to everyone. Whether you're attending a board meeting halfway up a rugged cliff face or ferrying humane remains out of your place of work, it's reassuring to know the Germans have got your back. Armored version available, obviously. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:30 | Is it an SUV? Is it a muscle car? Is it serious military hardware for the oligarch market? It's all of the above with six wheels and a bulletproof shell (if you pay for the extras). No dictator or business leader should be seen without it. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:29 | Say what you will about the Germans - they know luxury. And their economy is the only one worth a crap in Europe. This model has all kinds of extras - too many to list for legal reasons. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:29 | Look in the mirror and what do you see? Is it a flabby, pallid investment manager with a solitary sex life and spiraling personal debts? It's OK, you don't need to answer that - you're only seeing this ad because we've datamined your Lifeinvader profile. And statistically, we know your next step is going to be the impulsive purchase of a 4x4 that you'll never take out of the city - which is where the Streiter comes in. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:02 | Bored during rush hour? Need to make an impression when a dictator is in town? Sick of having to choose between a comfort and status of a limousine and the sheer utility of an Armored Personnel Carrier? German engineering once again provides the kind of efficient, goal-oriented solution the modern businessman needs by sticking a minigun on top of a stretch limo. It's obvious once you see it. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:02 | Good-looking yet utilitarian, sexy yet asexual, slender yet terrifyingly powerful, the Schafter is German engineering at its very finest. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:01 | Powerful, understated, reliable. You have absolutely none of these qualities, so it's important to you that your car does. The new Benefactor Schafter screams corporate anonymity just as much as its predecessor, so to justify the massive price hike we've thrown in a few flourishes and a plush interior where you can screw your secretary's secretary in comfort. Armored edition available. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:01 | Powerful, understated, reliable. You have absolutely none of these qualities, so it's important to you that your car does. The new Benefactor Schafter screams corporate anonymity just as much as its predecessor, so to justify the massive price hike we've thrown in a few flourishes and a plush interior where you can screw your secretary's secretary in comfort. Armored edition available. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:01 | Powerful, understated, reliable. You have absolutely none of these qualities, so it's important to you that your car does. The new Benefactor Schafter screams corporate anonymity just as much as its predecessor, so to justify the massive price hike we've thrown in a few flourishes and a plush interior where you can screw your secretary's secretary in comfort. This model has an extended wheelbase. Armored edition available | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 18:00 | Powerful, understated, reliable. You have absolutely none of these qualities, so it's important to you that your car does. The new Benefactor Schafter screams corporate anonymity just as much as its predecessor, so to justify the massive price hike we've thrown in a few flourishes and a plush interior where you can screw your secretary's secretary in comfort. This model has an extended wheelbase. Armored edition available. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 17:59 | This Stirling GT is a landmark of Germany's proud history of helping flabby, self-loathing businessmen pretend they're Grand Prix drivers... for two minutes between freeway traffic jams. It's a tradition that's been around for at least sixty years, so while it's still pathetic, at least it got there first. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 17:57 | What's known in the trade as a 'drug dealers car'. 1990s luxury German four door sedan turned 2010s roving depot for stepped-on cocaine. Expect to get stopped by the cops and stuck up by junkies | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 17:56 | Tell your liberal neighbors you bought the Progen for its 'fuel efficiency' and reduced 'carbon' emissions, when you really got it because they hooked an electric motor to a twin-turbocharged V8 engine just to give it extra juice. Like a toaster in a bathtub, this is a dangerous synthesis of technologies old and new. Be progressive in the only real sense of the word. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 17:56 | Originally designed as a road-legal confidence booster for the wealthy but poorly endowed, the Tyrus found its true calling elsewhere. It didn't just beat its race-tuned rivals - it serially teabagged them across every endurance grand prix in competitive motorsport. Which is particularly good for you, because you can pretend this isn't all about your tiny, tiny package. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 17:56 | Seasons will change, fashions will come and go, economies will tank, the wholesome popstars of today will be leaking their own bondage tapes tomorrow - but the GP1 will always remain. This is what defined supercars for a generation, perhaps for all time: as pure and flawless as the smile of a newborn, or a crystal of perfectly refined meth, or the smile of a newborn experiencing perfectly refined meth. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 17:55 | Lithe, focused, aggressive: if you've ever made passionate love to an angry jungle cat, you'll have an inkling of what it's like to take Progen's new Itali GTB out for a gentle spin. And if you've ever made passionate love to a stripped down, track-ready jungle cat with a massive rear spoiler, you'll have some idea of what Benny can do to this thing. | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 17:54 | Back in the 70s, the Savestra was the car your parents banned from the house after it pissed engine oil on the carpet and dry-humped your dad's Schafter. Taking all the power and presence of a big American sports car and boiling them down to a concentrated dose of rage, this little pit bull is the perfect candidate for a whole suite of brutal mod options, including a light machine gun or two. Please note: Weapon modifications can only be applied at a Vehicle Workshop inside an Avenger or Mobile Operations Center | |
generalrusty78 photo_librarymode_comment 2018-04-12 17:54 | Fresh from baffling onlookers across the GT circuit, the experimental prototype from Annis is now on limited commercial sale. In a revolutionary design process, Japan's finest artisans, engineers, aeronautics experts, martial artists and chefs have come together to product a seamless extension of your delusions of edginess and accomplishment. |